i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
