im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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