i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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