i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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