I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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