she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
