Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
