If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
