we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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