do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
