You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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