we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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