he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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