Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
