So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
