Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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