What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
