ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
