the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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