I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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