come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Randomize
