i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
