I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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