Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
