K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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