Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
