Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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