Can Purell be used as lube?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Text me some of your sweat
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
