theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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