I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
