It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
