so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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