I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
my being single is dangerous.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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