Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
