in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm at about main and main street
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
