my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
