On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
