he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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