You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
