I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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