I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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