you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
