Duck Duck Cougar?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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