We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
