I will die if light touches me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
