IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
