member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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