One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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