I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
