The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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