Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
